Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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