Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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