I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
