Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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