We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
