i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
