hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
