his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
