Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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