I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize