I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
