you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
