Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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