The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
