Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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