Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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