new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
