I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
