I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
