There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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