I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
