shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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