so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
