I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
