its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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