We got so high we made milksteak
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
