Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
