smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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