Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
