She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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