my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize