my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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