Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
