Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
