Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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