he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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