i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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