My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
