I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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