Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
