On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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