he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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