Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
