My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
