he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
