You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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