where am i from again
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
