Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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