You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
