You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize