If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
