Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
