My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
