i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
