i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
smell my finger.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
