You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the day after is always just damage control
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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