she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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