Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
