can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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