Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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