i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
