Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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