She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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