Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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